OOC Meme - interview

[un_fallen]

If you have a question for Raguel, this is the place. He'll answer eventually. And no burninating...promise. :)

Comments

[darthrami.livejournal.com]

Given your history, do you think you ever will be capable of falling in love?

[un_fallen]

[OOC note: We’ll just skip over that 30-second coughing fit that precedes this answer, shall we? :D ]

Uh... well, we’re all capable, I guess, that’s kinda the problem. Any idiot can do it. It’s a very tricky emotion – it was designed to be. Guess Phanuel or somebody thought that would make it interesting or something, I don’t know. But I’ve seen enough of the consequences, when it goes badly, to know better. It isn’t to be taken lightly in any case, and angels have a worse track record than most. And for me... it’s not that I haven’t been, er, tempted. But my function – the amount of power involved – it just makes it impossible. I mean, if things went badly, and I reacted as some have...

I just don't see how it can be worth it.

[nepheliad.livejournal.com]

Rami stole my question! But um.

Do you not like that I sort of ship you and Sariel, every now and then -- er. I mean. What would you do if we left metaRP and she actually did kiss you?

What do you really think of her, anyway?

... and for that matter, what do you really think of Aziraphael? And Crowley?

[un_fallen]

Sariel? *A snort of laughter* You gotta be joking, she has way too much sense for that. Yeah, things were a little off the last time we spoke -- I overreacted. I’d had a hell of a day, I wasn’t thinking straight. It just seemed... it felt like a betrayal, I guess. *He shrugs* But she knows better. There’s not a soul in heaven or earth who’s kissed me and is around to talk about it.

What do I think of her... *he grins* Well, we never really talked much before the bar – she’s not quite from the same place I am. It’s complicated. But she’s – very kind, where not many others have been. We have a lot in common, besides the obvious. She takes a lot of criticism for the way she carries out her function. I can sort of relate. She looks out for me, and I do for her. I guess in mortal terms she’s as close to a sister as I’ll ever have.

Aziraphael... I don’t know what to think of him. He makes me wish I’d gotten to know him better, earlier. He seems to care about the people down here, which is rare, and he’s generous and forgiving to an unexpected degree. He’s the sort of angel that people want to imagine we all are.

Crowley and I only recently met. He’s not at all what I expected. But I’ve rarely had conversations with demons, so what I expected might be wrong, I don’t know. Can I reserve judgment?

[creator_raven]

What do you think of Raven, and his odd insistence on choices? Particularly the choices bit, given your nature?

[un_fallen]

I like Raven, as much as I know of him. Maybe it’s partially because I don’t know much about him that I think he’s so interesting – I can talk to him without having Five Facts About Raven thrown into my head. And there’s this feeling that he’s older than I am, which is... comforting. I don’t know how it could be possible, but it’s an impression I get. Like he knows answers that I don’t. And maybe he won’t tell me the answers, but it’s reassuring as hell to believe that somebody knows them. Even if it isn’t true.

And I guess there’s one other thing. I think it’s just his habit of answering questions with questions, but it reminds me – just a tiny bit, you understand - of somebody else. Only... less intimidating.

Yeah, he was big on choices. I do know that they’re necessary, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. Sometimes I wish I had a choice and I don’t. But when I can make up my own mind, that’s even worse. The consequences of my wrong decisions are pretty extreme... and I remember what it was like when I didn’t know there were such things as grey areas. It was so easy. I just wonder how Raven deals with it.

[fairest1.livejournal.com]

Full truth, what do you think of the concept of free will as it pertains to humanity? To you specifically?

[un_fallen]

Uh. *he grins* Tough question. I don’t have the chip on my shoulder about humans and free will that Lucifer does, if that’s what you want to know. Free will for humanity was always in the Plan, from back before I was even created, and I was never inclined to see it as anything other than as a part of that. I don’t think they do a great job with it – not that often, anyway – but they do a hell of a lot better than angels. At least humans usually have it without losing themselves in the process.

As for myself... *he stares at the floor for several seconds, thinking*

I wonder sometimes whether I’ve been given free will and just haven’t taken advantage of it. I don’t have any direction from Above; I try to do my job, but in the end I guess I don’t have any idea if that’s what they want from me. And maybe I’m just kidding myself, but it feels more like I’ve been overlooked than cast out, and I don’t think that counts.

I suppose I’ve thought about trying it out a few times – just toss it all in, stop hunting murderers, pretend to be a native. But I can’t – I can’t not do it. Angels are their functions, going on and on like clockwork, and a clock is still a clock even when the time is wrong. If I was told I had free will and could do what I liked with my existence, I’d still be what I am. I’d still do what I do. I may seem to have more freedom than most, but it takes a rebellion to completely reject your own nature. Sometimes even that doesn’t do it.

[a-fell.livejournal.com]

Do you regret anything?